In fairness I probably should have put a little more info in the original post, it was originally just a "is there some specific weird precondition I'm missing".
The code is derived from
https://github.com/jared52005/Monitor/blob/master/Firmware/ESP32/main/Passive_Vwtp20.c so I at least know the parsing is right; essentially everything on a CAN ID < 0x600 is sent to the parser to see if it's TP2 traffic. I'm also logging everything incoming from the TWAI driver and there is nothing after sending the request for the ECU.
My reasoning for believing it can only be a TP2 ECU is that it's an EDC17CP24 (7L0907401T, so it's an sgo) so can't be K Line and with it being an sgo it's definitely KWP.
If there's no "secret" precondition it's almost certainly a code/me issue, just weird the firmware works perfectly fine on 6MT and when trying to communicate with the gateway. Frustrating thing to troubleshoot without a car being local to me, but it is what it is. If for some reason the solution isn't related to my code I'll stick a note on here in case anyone else decides to try and implement this stupid TP on their own