figured it out, the blue cable is crap, only working in dos me7 via obd and not bootmode.
the mpps cable only works in mpps, the kwp2000plus absolulty sucks as it won't work in any program.
and i misplaced my 4th connector cable which is possibly the best cable that works in everything.
black vag-k+can commander full
once i used this cable, nefmoto detected it straight away, both bootmode and kwpmode.
i could read and write in kwpmode but for some strange reason it would crash the program if i attempted to read/write bootmode on win7, and my xp machine it would just cycle attempting to do something.
so i wrote to two c5 a6 2.7t ecu's "al & q" "reflashed them to a box modded", then came the third ecu and it had a immo on despite being a a6 "p" 1999 ecu - assuming the 2001+ is when the immo was enabled. so nefmoto gave me the typical can't read a immo ecu, and it wouldn't let me access boot mode without crashing so i went into dos, me7 bootmode, read and rewritten the me7_95040 with a m box immo off bin file i found on this site, once i did that i could then flash the third ecu via nefmoto without immo message.
just posting this info for future reference and incase anyone gets stuck, sometimes these troubleshooting ideas help
