Apparently its safer flashing me7.5 ecu's in boot mode so im going to try and make a bench flash harness. Ill have to find an ecu harness/connector and a female obd2 connector somewhere first. Just following this:
http://www.audizine.com/forum/showthread.php/445065-how-to-build-a-bench-flash-boot-mode-harness-for-your-me7-ecuI read somewhere if you fail to flash the ecu via obd2 using nefmoto flasher you will brick the ecu. If i cant full read flash either of my ecus with nefmoto flasher then the chances i can flash a new file over using it are slim. Next attempt will be boot mode + galletto
Also I am planning on buying bosch 550 ev14s since i can get them pretty cheap and the 440's i bought (unwisely) are not genuine.
Start from scratch. Set or verify IMMO is off. Write the software version you intend to work with in boot mode + galletto. At that point you shouldn't have any issues flashing with nefmoto. You'll need to power up an additional pin for me7.5 (forget which one off hand) for bench flashing with nefmoto; I did not need to do that for the 95040 tool or galletto.
If you don't start from scratch, you'll never get it IMO. What I've learned, is that the pieces of the puzzle are all available (s4tuning wiki is a huge piece) but it's up the the individual to put them together.
I've stuck with the 0003 version from the community stage 1 thread and have built up the definition file from referencing a couple of fully defined 0004 def's.