welp finally figured this issue out
feel like an asshole about it too.

today i decided to check my bank 1 tensioner solenoid because it was dead(or so i thought.) so I unscrewed it from the cam adjuster itself and cleaned and tested it to make sure it clicked via 12v and it did click.
so i was reassembling the tensioner and plugging things back in and noticed one electrical connector didnt look as relaxed as the others.
quickly realized as i gazed at bank2 tensioner it had a grey plug not a black one. the bank 1 cam adj plug was plugged into the evap solenoid and evap plug was on cam adjuster. lol
you would think maybe a little more errors would pop up besides a malfunction code just for the cam adj.

plugged everything into respective homes and evap finally runs and completes and cam adj is in spec via vcds(sits around 0)

this explains the cyl 1/2/3 misfires when the evap test tried running because it was actuating the cam adj insted of evap solenoid and how the fuel tank was pressurized from the cam adj circuit opening the evap valve thus letting positive pressure into the tank.

this is why you be careful when picking up a car that someone has thoroughly fucked with

i chased this for months lmao. it flew right over my head. I guess it took a rainy day getting wet and cold to finally come to me.