I would start with a driver directly from FTDI to eliminate that possible issue. I've never had the Windows installed drivers work for me.
Also, try different versions of ME7eeprom. I think the latest is 1.40 but if you are bootmode flashing 1.30 will work too. I've had good luck with 10400 baud when the going gets difficult. I've had times where one version worked but not the others. That said my 518AK eeprom flashed first time, so I can't really offer specific help. I've had more problems with the 032xx ECUs in the past. I think I had to resort to a 'copy' of VAG Commander to get it done once. Made me feel dirty.
Nothing weird about having to put the ECU in bootmode each time. That is how you have to roll. Once it fails and disconnects, then you start from scratch. I hook a test probe to pin 24 running to ground via a momentary switch. Makes it much easier to get into bootmode consistently. Hold switch, power on, count to seven, release switch and hit enter. Works like a charm.
Start with the official FTDI driver and go from there... Good luck!
