After I flashed a .bin file with bad checksum (should have known better) car started once, then it wouldn't start again.  After that I couldn't connect with vcds or nefmoto.  I was convinced I needed to get a galletto cable and do the boot mode recovery, but I kept banging my head against it, and after several hours I was finally able to get it to flash again. 

I think what finally did it was
1: disconnect car battery for a few minutes
2: use generic code reader to clear dtcs.
After that I was able to connect with vcds and nefmoto, and well as flash a new .bin file.  Note: I never tried to start it after those 2 steps, just connect and flash.

If this is common knowledge feel free to delete this post, but I spent hours searching and everything I found said 'boot mode/galetto needed'.  Hopefully this helps someone out!

If you do have that DTC, read the eeprom with argdubs tool, then process it with 95040tool - this will show if the death code is set, and let you clear it. Then write back with argdubs tool in boot mode.