bootmode is your friend

but if you want to flash over obd you should defeat your immo anyway
some files can be protected from reading over obd but you can flash over it with with nefmoto (only warning about memory layout mismatch will appear)

Read all the flashing stickies and the first link in my sig.

Nefmoto flasher does not support bootmode

The problem appears to be that you cannot pull your file due to the upload service being disabled.  It's a fast way that ARP/Revo use to stop generic punk users from grabbing their files. 

Firstly, pull the ECU out the car and open it up, take your time and use a blade to cut all the sealant.  Remove the board from the case entirely, and look at the chips - check to see if there is an adaptor on the board - it will look like a socket that is holding a chip.  If there isn't, it is just the flash that is stopping you from uploading your file.

You appear to have followed the steps properly so far - and you've noticed that cross-flashing is bad protocol.  At this stage though, you have no other option "bootmode" to flash your file.

Bootmode requires the ECU to be removed from the car and split - so that you can ground out Pin 24 on the flash chip.  When grounded and then the ECU powered up, the ECU will enter a programming mode - where you; the user, can flash whatever file he/she wants onto the chip.  Bootmode also requires a homemade harness made from two ECU plugs and a female OBD socket and a 12v power supply.  It's documented how to make one on here, but it's a bit lacking.  I'm going to put a thorough document together to help people.

It is recommended that you start with the file that was originally on the ECU - you can check the Original ECU section of the forum to attempt to find an ori.  Use this Ori, combined with a Galletto or MPPS cable to flash over bootmode.  The Nefmoto software does NOT support bootmode, you'll need another cable (the Galletto or MPPS).

Then, with your new harness, connect the ECU and the cable and ground out the pin.  Apply power to the ECU and hold the grounded out bootmode pin for 5 seconds, then remove.  You are now in bootmode.  You can connect with Galletto and flash over your new file.

After that, you are finished.  The problem is, with APR/Revo stuff, they mess with the EEPROM too - so you might need a virgin EEPROM too.

So:
Open up the ECU and check for a socket
Pull EEPROM with Argdubs tool
Make bootmode harness and purchase Galletto cable
Boot ECU in bootmode and flash ori file onto it
See if it starts

If it doesn't start, the EEPROM will need virginified.  You'll need to ask for a virgin EEPROM for your ECU as the APR/Revo one is effectively corrupt. 

The other option, of course, is to buy a second hand ECU, keep yours as the "original", adapt the new ECU to the car and use that one as your tuning base.  It's a lot to take in, if you need clarification on anything, just reply.

Just because you can't read the file doesn't mean you can't flash over it. Just like Adam said it could be locked with a commercial file. If it is tuned you need to figure out if you want to risk loosing your tuned file and if your ready to use bootmode to recover your ecu if something was to happen during the flash. My 2 €ents : pickup anther ecu, they can be found cheap and any mk4 1.8t ecu from 01-05 auto or manual will work for you once you immo off or transfer your exsting immo data. This will also give you a chance to learn how to read / write your EEPROM, how to bootmode etc. without risking leaving you without your car.
Good luck,
Marty 

Also if it was just trial tuned, does apr or revo screw with the eeprom too? because Im curious if when I flash, am I likely to face any eeprom issues mentioned earlier? or is that related to trying to read the ecu?

thanks again

Alright, well after reading your response I checked google and within 5 minutes I've managed to dig up 5 various vw/audi service and performance shops within a 10 mile radius of my house.

Double J moterks does APR, HM motorsports does APR, Futrell autowerks does APR, Halsey Automotive does Revo and Hillside Imports does Revo...

Would it be worth a try to contact any of them and drive down to one of their shops to see if they could confirm whether or not I had an APR or Revo tune? or had a trial tune at some point? and if that were possible would they be able to remove it? or something like that?

Also, I found an ECU on craigslist near me that I'm going to buy on pay day. SO thank you for the advice on getting a donor ecu so I'm not without transportation if something goes wrong... But I was curious. My ECU has software version 0006 and the .bin file I found for my ecu is a complete match other than the fact that it contains software version 0003. Will that be an issue and in this case will I still need to immo defeat or clone my immo if I'm using that terminology correctly.

Thank you.

You have helped me so much I mean it thank you so much!   I think i love you Adam lol

And thank you everyone else!  Nyet And fukenbroken too!

Now final question, dude hit me back Just Now and let me know he decided to save the ecu for a backup I guess. I searched EBay for ecus numbered 06a906032dl, as well as things like Aww ecu, 1.8t mk4 ecu 2001... And i couldn't find one cheaper than a little over a hundred dollars. But i did find plenty of other mk4 1.8t me7.5 ecus for 20 - 65 made for various engine codes other than the Aww. Im sure the answer is out there but your very knowledgeable and i trust your advice based on what you've stated. Anyways im wondering what ecus you can confirm will allow me to flash my tuned Aww 06a906032DL file? Im going to keep looking for another Aww ecu but in the event I find a good deal on one made for a different engine code for a lot cheaper I'd definitely take the plunge when i have the chance.

Long story short can you give me a few examples that you know of will work?  I assume any me7. 5 ecu with the 1024kb flash memory or whatever Right?  Thats just an educated guess tho lol.

Thanks again guys.